Milestones

June 19, 2013

Four years ago, I’m pretty sure I would have balked at the idea of seeing a therapist regularly. I certainly would have balked at the idea of taking medication, and probably would have tried to get off of it as quickly as possible (maybe even against medical advice, which is how I took myself off anti-depressants when I was 19).

Four years ago my resume listed more law library experience than school or youth work.

Four years ago I had never lived alone.

I had never had a credit card, a car, or paid for utilities in my own name.

What a difference four years can make!

It’s actually just under four years, because I started seeing Jane* in July of 2009, and last week we ended therapy.  Read the rest of this entry »


We Gotta Get Out of This Place

May 9, 2013

As I sat in traffic, still stuck behind a turning green line train, still hearing the honking and verbal abuse I received for–what, exactly? Waiting for traffic to move like everyone else? Refusing to cut off the turn lane for oncoming traffic because our side of the road wasn’t going anywhere and theirs was? Anyway, as I sat there, all I could think was I have to get out of here.

Lately The Fiancee and I have had some hard conversations about where and how we live. They’re necessary discussions, but they’re hard to have because change and the unknown are scary, and inertia is powerful. And, I guess, because I’m stubborn and lazy, but maybe that falls under change is scary.

Here’s the thing: I love Boston. I love Red Sox games (as long as I’m not trying to drive anywhere). I love leaning to see boats on the Charles out the window of the red line. I love a dirty Southie accent. I love being able to disdain my alma mater frequently and in person when I show off the campus to out of town guests. I love restaurants and bars and towering home runs.

But is that enough?
Read the rest of this entry »


This Is Health Care Reform?

January 31, 2012

So Massachusetts passed a law giving cities and towns an enormous amount of power to change the health care plans for municipal employees, essentially bypassing the collective bargaining process. (Individual collective bargaining agreements will still be honored as far as splits are concerned, but unions are pretty much given thirty days to argue their case, and then if the parties can’t agree a panel will look at the plans/changes strictly by the numbers. Hooray!) The AFT has a good summary here, or you can try to wade through the actual text of the law here (fun fact: Worcester County is exempt for some reason).

There’s been a general simmering discontent since the law passed, because none of us knew which cities and towns would go for it, or what it would ultimately mean when they did. Despite allocating $30,000 to study employee and retiree benefits in general, the Selectmen of the town I work for recently decided (before the $30,000 study was complete, I should add) to just go ahead and exercise their new powers.

Read the rest of this entry »


Things That Are Different

December 22, 2011

I kept meaning to write some kind of anniversary post last month, since mid-November was the time I came home from the hospital a year ago, but for whatever reason I never got around to it. In some ways last year seems ages ago, but there are other times when it feels like last week. I think part of my problem was that I was trying a little too hard to make a post like that Feel Significant. Instead, here are a few things that are different in my life since being hospitalized.

Read the rest of this entry »


Armchair Quarterbacks

December 4, 2010

A recent Feministe thread on education has me irked, yet again, by the way education debates usually seem to go. Why is it that we defer to experts on so many other topics, and yet so many Americans seem to think their opinion on education trumps all merely by virtue of having once been educated themselves? Hey, I fly on lots of airplanes–how come Boeing hasn’t hired me as a consultant yet?

I understand that we all want to use our personal experience to make sense of the world. And I realize that I’m not yet a parent, so I don’t have a parental point of view on what it’s like to send a kid through school. But I’m tired of the opinions of educators–those of us who are actually in schools and communities, fighting for better resources for children and young adults–constantly being shouted down by amateur education reform scholars.

Education is underfunded. If you look at the amount we’re shelling out for national security and defense versus education, our priorities are severely out of whack. The US ranks second in GDP purchasing power parity in the world, but it currently ranks 46th in education spending as a portion of total GDP–behind some of the usual characters, like the UK and the Netherlands, but also behind such nations as Cuba and Lesotho.

Educational funding is also seriously inequitable. The same neighborhoods and communities who find themselves shorted on municipal services, police and fire support, and social services are often the very same ones fighting to keep their schools open and adequately funded. Look at the proposed school closures and mergers for an urban district like Boston Public Schools, then try overlaying with crime data (PDF) from those same areas. Hint: Dorchester is District C, just as one starting point.

But beyond that, education is undervalued and maligned as a profession. Whenever individual school unions make unpopular choices, all educational unions–often all teachers–are demonized. When individual public schools and districts fail to meet benchmarks, the successes of other schools–yes, even inner-city public schools–are dismissed. The perceived power of some metropolitan teachers’ unions lead outsiders to paint teachers (and organized labor) with broad strokes. We’re in it for the money. We don’t care about students. We’re making outrageous demands.

All of this demonization also ignores the very real struggles teachers face in the classroom (and wherever educators may work). Although the profession is still perceived as female-dominated, the narrative of female teachers and male administrators is still sadly alive and well–including in many of our graduate programs. Male teachers, meanwhile, particularly at the lower levels, still face social stigma thanks to the sensationalized threat of sexual predators in classrooms. All of us who work with so-called “troubled” youth have to wade through self-perpetuating narratives of underperformance, not to mention ignorance among parents, colleagues and community members about issues like learning disabilities and mental illness.

Those of you who don’t work in education might have the luxury of throwing up your hands and declaring the system broken. But those of us who are educators can’t, and don’t, do that. We go to work every day, and we bring our jobs home with us every afternoon (or night). Not because we’re getting glory, or money, or power, or fame–because we love what we do, and because we believe in a better world for our students. We are building it with our hearts and minds and hands every day.


Abby… Normal?

November 29, 2010

I probably needed glasses long before I finally got them. Like so many nearsighted kids before me, I had perfected the fine art of squinting. I didn’t exactly cheat on those regular eye tests at school, but I certainly did my darndest to pass them. I think it was a math teacher who favored red dry-erase markers that finally did me in–I had to see a real eye doctor.

I didn’t have any particular fear of glasses. I was already solidly unpopular, so the threat of being called four-eyes didn’t have much bite for me. I do remember hoping I would still see light sources in the same way. (I did.) I also didn’t see anything particularly “wrong” with my vision. I was having some trouble seeing algebra equations, sure, but things were supposed to get a little fuzzy in the distance, right?

The first time I looked at a lawn with my new glasses, I was stunned. There were individual blades of grass! Did other people see details like that all the time?

I have corrected-to-normal vision.

I also have corrected-to-normal emotions.
Read the rest of this entry »


Quick Hit: Searching for…

October 27, 2010

In creating a bibliography to pull some books for a class that’s coming to the library later this week, I’ve been searching for a lot of contemporary issue-type books. So far I’ve been pretty pleased with our selection on most topics–I’ve been actively developing this area of the collection, but we already had some good (actually contemporary!) titles in many cases–but the most recent topic has me stumped (and adding book titles feverishly to order lists).

Hits returned on the following searches:

Contraception: 0
Contraceptives: 0
Birth control: 1
Condom: 1
Adoption: 0
Adopted: 0
Birth parents: 0

I’d keep going, but it’s just depressing me.


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