Last night I went to a queer grad student mixer, a regular event at a bar/cafe pretty well known in local queer circles. Despite the encouraging sign of two female bouncers at the door, walking into the actual room meant walking into a crowd of–you guessed it!–men. Now, to be fair, there were three other women when I arrived, and maybe a total of a dozen by the time I left. But this was compared to upwards of fifty men through the course of the evening. And I’d say about half of the women looked like they were already coupled.
I’m not saying this because I’m bitter that I didn’t get anybody’s number last night. I have a wonderful girlfriend and we’re quite happy–I was there largely as moral support. I only mention it because it’s a little disappointing to realize that the gender ratio I became resigned to as an undergrad might actually exist in the real world.
To be fair, being a co-chair of GirlSpot last year meant that I was intimately involved with a lot of events that either leveled or reversed that ratio. But in general, my queer experience as an undgrad was largely defined by events where women were in the minority.
As graduation was approaching a few months ago, I found myself worried that I wouldn’t spend time with gay men after I left campus. I can’t really remember why I was so worried about this, but now it’s pretty clear that I shouldn’t have been. While I might not have one on one interactions with gay boys in my daily life, whenever I go to an organized queer event–usually somehow related to my college–I’m pretty much guaranteed to be surrounded by men.