In thinking about the prospect of living in Boston once I get my master’s, I started pondering the concept of the dealbreaker. It’s a little different from the taquito moment,* in that the dealbreaker is generally a firmly held conviction, whereas a taquito moment can be a tiny incident portentous of things to come. In essence, the taquito moment can predict the dealbreaker.
In the hypothetical, there are probably a lot of things that would be my dealbreaker. Although I’d like to think I’m open to idyllic notions of true love regardless of gender, at this point it’s pretty safe to say that biological maleness is a dealbreaker. So would cheating (past incidences of assholishness on my part nothwithstanding), polygamy,** probably some fetishes (I’m thinking pedophilia, necrophilia and bestiality in particular, though I’m sure there are more), and, say, cannibalism.
Interestingly enough, though, here in the real world, things I’d always assumed to be dealbreakers are turning out to be, well, not. A desire for children is one. (I have it, and big time, and pictured myself with someone who felt similarly.) A passion for the northwest is another. (I ache to live in Oregon again, but, well, here I am.)
So how about the rest of you? What’s your dealbreaker?
*The taquito moment should really be worked into the vernacular of our times. It refers to a brilliant Washington Post piece.
**Here’s what I find interesting: at least anecdotally, it’s way more common for monogamists to compromise for the love of a polygamist than vice versa. And, of course, “compromise” in this case doesn’t mean that both partners engage in polygamy–it means the monogamist continues exclusively seeing the polygamist, who continues seeing everybody.