Well, it finally happened.

Tonight someone saw me go into a women’s bathroom, thought I was a guy, and called security on me.

I was having a really lovely evening before that. I was out with the Sig Fig and her roommate to celebrate their imminent master’s degrees, enjoying expensive gourmet food and tulips in the common. And then my mood was totally ruined.

Luckily, the Sig Fig really told the guy off and made him leave before I even came out of the bathroom. (She tried to pretend nothing had happened, which was nice of her, but I’d heard a bit of the conversation through the door and pried the truth out of her.) Then again, I probably wouldn’t even have gone in the first place had I not been with two other people who had to pee–shopping centers are my absolute least favorite places to pee, with airports and movie theaters not too far behind. Because I was processing in with two other well-dressed dykes, though, I thought I’d be safe.

I hate that I let this ruin my evening, but I hate that it happened even more. And I know that unless I suddenly develop a fondness for for skirts and wear my hair out, it’s going to keep happening.

This is how bladder infections happen, people.

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4 Responses to Well, it finally happened.

  1. bluestockingsrs says:

    Yes, I am the personal escort for many a butch into a restroom in my life.

    Sorry this happened to you.

    Blechh.

  2. pandanose says:

    Kind of sad that a woman who prides herself being the kind of person who will make sure a friend doesn’t walk home alone at night needs an escort just to pee, eh?

    Could make an interesting piece of political performance art, though- hordes of women in orange vests escorting butches to public restrooms…

  3. Thorne says:

    That is pretty messed up. I’m sorry you had to go through this. Maybe we can start a “switch bathrooms” movement, and make it “chic”. If we could get straights going into the “other” bathroom to be cool, nobody would notice the rest of us. *wink*

  4. pandanose says:

    While I appreciate your sympathy, Thorne, your joking reaction (and much of my writing on the subject, to be perfectly honest) unfortunately ignores something at the heart of the issue: why women have a problem with my presence (and the presence of other androgynous or gender non-normative folk) in their bathrooms.

    While it’s true that some women probably genuinely dislike or are discomforted by GNN people, it’s also true that most women don’t want men in single-sex restrooms. And they have good reason: sexual predators do infiltrate bathrooms, and woman are particularly vulnerable there.

    Now, while I think it would take a lot for me to ever confront someone I thought was male in a woman’s bathroom, much less call security on him (examples would be following someone in, attempting access to a closed stall, masturbating, or exhibiting violent behavior), I can totally understand the impulse. If there’s one place a woman wants to feel safe, it’s where she’s stuck with her pants down.

    Beyond that, I don’t want to increase freedom to go into the “other” bathroom (and, by the way, women can still do that with relative impunity, from gas station bathrooms to stadium bathrooms when the lines are disproportionate–men’s feathers get a little ruffled, but as a rule, they don’t call security) because I’m not trying to go into the “other” bathroom. I (and other GNN folk) are trying to go into the right bathroom, the one where we belong and should feel safe.

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