You call that mowing the lawn?

I’m a bad blogger. I haven’t written in approximately forever. I should write more. It occurred to me, oh, yesterday at work or something, that I should write more whenever I have even a tiny thought about writing something. Until now it’s been more my habit to think, “Gee, that’s an interesting idea. That’s something I’d really like to flesh out in writing. But I should wait until I’ve really thought it out so that I can write a thorough, thoughtful post. Also, what’s stabbing me in the thigh?”

Did I mention I have cats? I have cats now. The paperwork isn’t signed so I don’t want to jinx anything. But if ownership were determined by puncture wounds, well, I would own me some cats. (That sentence didn’t work out as well as I’d hoped. I mostly just wanted to work the phrase “puncture wounds” in there.)

Anyway, it’s not really that I’ve been busy–I have, but that doesn’t stop me from, say, watching a lot of tv–or that I haven’t had things to write about–I have, including some ideas I’ve been sitting on for months for no good reason.

Basically I have no excuse. I should write more.

For kicks, here’s a little something I ran across in the course of my work this week. It comes from the Proceedings of the Old Bailey, which is a great site. Great if, for whatever reason, you’re interested in really old court cases.

271. SAMUEL TURNER was indicted for feloniously assaulting Jane Smith , on the King’s highway, on the 15th of December, putting her in fear, and taking from her person and against her will, one shawl, value 2 s., the goods of Samuel Smith .


JANE SMITH. I am the wife of Samuel Smith . On the 15th of December, in the evening, I was at a public-house in the Mile End-road, and saw the prisoner and another man there – they left before I did. I left about ten o’clock, and when I came up to the turnpike, the prisoner came up to me, struck me, and took my shawl – three men and two women were with him. I cannot say the prisoner was one, but one of the men came up struck me, and ran away. The woman struck me several times, and said,

“If you say that man took your shawl, I will have your life.” A short man came up, and said,

“I took your shawl.” I said,

“No, the man is gone over there.” I cried out Stop thief! and a watchman came up, who took me to the toll-house. I afterwards saw the prisoner standing with the others, and the patrol took him – it was the prisoner. There was a strong light from the lamps.

EDWARD PAGE . I am a patrol. The prosecutrix pointed the prisoner out to me, and I took him. He was standing with three other men, and two girls. The prosecutrix had been drinking, but knew what she was about.

Prisoner’s Defence. I never touched her. She was intoxicated, and could not stand.


Second Middlesex Jury, before Mr. Justice Holroyd.


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