I know, I know–I’m trying not to be a crazy cat blogger. But every once in a while I take videos of them, and certain people who follow me on Twitter really, really like those videos. Read the rest of this entry »
When I first adopted the cats, I promised my loyal readers–all two of them–that this wouldn’t become A Cat Blog. And I think I’ve stayed pretty true to my word.
But there are times when your cats are just That ridiculous, and you happen to be filming them.
I’ve noticed lately that any time I’m on the phone with the Sig Fig, we tend to have at least four conversations going on:
1. The conversation we’re actually having, which is usually pretty boring
2. The roommate talking, blissfully unaware that the Sig Fig is on the telephone (or, the reverse, Sig Fig trying to yell something at the roommate while she’s wearing headphones)
3. Me talking to the cats, which usually goes something like “OH MY GOD I HATE YOU ALL,” or variants like “YOU HAVE TO STOP DOING THAT. YOU ARE POINTY.”
4. Sig Fig talking to her dog, usually along the lines of “Dude, what the hell are you doing?”
Now, I’m proud to say that owning pets has not turned me into one of those sickening people who talks baby-talk to animals, although I will admit to occasionally getting a little lovey, but that’s usually short-lived, due to the already established Pointy. The Sig Fig is likewise not a disgusting individual, one of the many reasons we’re together. But I’d say we’re both often guilty of the polar opposite: talking to our pets in logical, complete sentences, and trying to use reason to persuade them to behave in ways we’d prefer.
My roommates have gotten used to walking into the apartment assuming I must be on the phone with someone or perhaps entertaining guests, only to find that I’ve been having a very calm conversation with one of the cats. I like to remind the cats that they actually have a pretty consistent dinner time, and that I probably haven’t forgotten to feed them and oh my god what if I never feed them again. I occasionally ask them if they wouldn’t perhaps like to cover up their crap a little better. I frequently beg them to stop making so much noise at night.
And then there are the times when reason clearly won’t help, so I resort to just meowing at them. DO YOU SEE HOW ANNOYING THAT IS. HOW DO YOU LIKE IT.
First things first: My household has officially expanded. It actually expanded some time ago, but I didn’t want to write anything about it until the paperwork was final. Which happened this morning. I’d like to introduce y’all to Napkin and Moneypenny:
This doesn’t mean that I’m going to turn into a Crazy Pet Blogger, but it’s entirely possible that I’ll write about them once in a while. Possibly with pictures, possibly without. (For all you whiners out there, I’m sorry. Really I am. Just take solace in the fact that, unlike the Sig Fig, you don’t have to hear about how adorable my cats are approximately twelve times a minute.)
Now onto the food I ate last night. Read the rest of this entry »
I’m a bad blogger. I haven’t written in approximately forever. I should write more. It occurred to me, oh, yesterday at work or something, that I should write more whenever I have even a tiny thought about writing something. Until now it’s been more my habit to think, “Gee, that’s an interesting idea. That’s something I’d really like to flesh out in writing. But I should wait until I’ve really thought it out so that I can write a thorough, thoughtful post. Also, what’s stabbing me in the thigh?”
Did I mention I have cats? I have cats now. The paperwork isn’t signed so I don’t want to jinx anything. But if ownership were determined by puncture wounds, well, I would own me some cats. (That sentence didn’t work out as well as I’d hoped. I mostly just wanted to work the phrase “puncture wounds” in there.)
Anyway, it’s not really that I’ve been busy–I have, but that doesn’t stop me from, say, watching a lot of tv–or that I haven’t had things to write about–I have, including some ideas I’ve been sitting on for months for no good reason.
Basically I have no excuse. I should write more.
For kicks, here’s a little something I ran across in the course of my work this week. It comes from the Proceedings of the Old Bailey, which is a great site. Great if, for whatever reason, you’re interested in really old court cases.
271. SAMUEL TURNER was indicted for feloniously assaulting Jane Smith , on the King’s highway, on the 15th of December, putting her in fear, and taking from her person and against her will, one shawl, value 2 s., the goods of Samuel Smith .
JANE SMITH. I am the wife of Samuel Smith . On the 15th of December, in the evening, I was at a public-house in the Mile End-road, and saw the prisoner and another man there – they left before I did. I left about ten o’clock, and when I came up to the turnpike, the prisoner came up to me, struck me, and took my shawl – three men and two women were with him. I cannot say the prisoner was one, but one of the men came up struck me, and ran away. The woman struck me several times, and said,
“If you say that man took your shawl, I will have your life.” A short man came up, and said,
“I took your shawl.” I said,
“No, the man is gone over there.” I cried out Stop thief! and a watchman came up, who took me to the toll-house. I afterwards saw the prisoner standing with the others, and the patrol took him – it was the prisoner. There was a strong light from the lamps.
EDWARD PAGE . I am a patrol. The prosecutrix pointed the prisoner out to me, and I took him. He was standing with three other men, and two girls. The prosecutrix had been drinking, but knew what she was about.
Prisoner’s Defence. I never touched her. She was intoxicated, and could not stand.
NOT GUILTY .
Second Middlesex Jury, before Mr. Justice Holroyd.